Newlywed 101: Dates

I love spending time with my husband, but sometimes the extrovert in me gets a bit carried away and we spend the weekend apart or shuttling from one activity to the next. With our first baby on the way we are very aware that one-on-one time is going to be limited very soon, in fact, this past weekend was the LAST weekend we have without busyness until the end of October.  We know that having a baby is going to decrease our ability to have big date nights for a while, so we’ve instituted some rituals and routines into our week to shield us from all the coming chaos of a baby.

How to Date your Husband

  1. Have routine mini-dates each week.  Friday’s Mr. A doesn’t start teaching until a bit later than normal, so Friday mornings we have a coffee date.  We walk to coffee, he walks me to the train, he kisses me goodbye and heads off to school.  Really the total time for our date isn’t more than 30 minutes, but we look forward to it all week and it’s like a big sloppy wet kiss of a welcome to the weekend.
  2. Go the the GOOD brunch place.  I think it’s common to wait for the good stuff for when you’re with other people.  Mr. A and I have a breakfast place that is pretty good, we also have the fancy brunch place that usually reserve for out-of-town guests or special occasions… Saturday, for no reason, he and I went to the good brunch place on our own.  Fancy drinks were ordered.  Shmoopy faces were made over the table at each other.  Sometimes JUST THE TWO OF YOU is worth pulling out the fancy for.
  3. Seize the Opportunity.  Not every date has to be planned.  Sometimes they just happen.  For example, Saturday night we were both so tired after running around and grocery shopping and we smelled the amazing aromas of chicken strips coming from the hot food section.  What did we do, you ask?  Ordered some of those chicken strips, rented a movie from the Blockbuster Express in the store, and promptly went home for a living room picnic.  Date night BOOM.
  4. Have something to look forward to.  Maybe this is just me, but I LOVE having something to look forward to.  I am REALLY looking forward to going to the Pumpkin Festival in Half Moon Bay in October.  It will be such a fun day and it’s in my calender complete with some quality drawings of a pumpkin or two.  Maybe what you’re looking forward to is a movie release that you guys will hit up, maybe its a trip you’ve planned, whatevs.
  5. Build the Excitement.  Text him, leave him a note, shoot him a quick email, whatever; let him know you’re really looking forward to time with him.  You get more excited, he gets excited.  EVERYONE WINS.
What are some ideas you have in your marriage/relationship to keep dating?

13 Responses to “Newlywed 101: Dates”

  1. I once heard Ashley say something on Twitter about watching a movie with Peter via Skype. I thought it was a good idea, so I stole it for me and my boyfriend to use! Last weekend, we set up our laptops in our kitchens while on Skype and cooked dinner “together”; then we watched the same movie “together.” It’s awesome Skype dates like these that make doing long-distance a little more bearable. :)

  2. “Sometimes JUST THE TWO OF YOU is worth pulling out the fancy for.” YES.

    Seeing that I’m pretty much a singleton, I don’t have much to add to the table but I think you’ve got an awesome list! It is so important to have that togetherness and to make time for it, no matter how small.

  3. I love your list, especially the part about building the excitement.

    In our situation right now, my husband and I don’t have a lot of time to be together–and time with just the two of us sans baby is even more elusive. We don’t live by family who can babysit. We don’t have any money to pay babysitters or really spend on dates for that matter. THIS IS WHAT WE DO…

    We label normal errand trips DATE trips. We always seem to need stuff from Target, and I know it sounds lame, but we have a “Friday Night Target Date.” We pick up the things we need. We let my 2 year old have a hayday in the toy aisle and we hug each other while we watch him play with toys we can’t afford.

    We’ve also had Park Date Nights where we let my kid play at the park (hey, time together is time together!). We’ve had Library Date Nights. We’ve had Petco Date Night…..we don’t even have a pet, but we go to Petco because it’s close and free and my boy likes to look at the animals.

    The point is, if you CALL it a date night, whatever you’re doing will be more exciting and you act differently. Excitement is key. :)

  4. I love this post! Since Jesse and I moved in together we’ve been making a real effort to have legit date nights where we shut down the computers etc. and just spend time. We’ve also been concentrating on making an effort to go out and do things instead of just spending our nights off watching Netflix. Movie dates are fun, but so are wine festivals, farmers’ markets, and puppy walks.

    • Yes totally! Mr. A and I have found that we talk the best while we’re walking… so even if getting out is just a walk to the coffee shop in town, it’s where we get the most meaningful conversations going.

  5. We have a standing dinner + movie night in our house. We cook together (well, usually I cook, he hangs out and eats and then does the dishes) and then we hunker down to watch a movie that we’ve been wanting to check out.

    We are also all about the impromptu, especially on our kid free weekends! Make an entire day of something we will (whether it’s hitting up various cheese shops around the area, or going for walks along lakes, or country drives).

    I am definitely with you on the texting/note thing. It goes a long way :)

    Love this post and love that you included the word schmoop!

    • I’m such a fan of walks. We have Friday date night too… which usually include Pizza and a movie at home. I’m so tired all the time and I really look forward to Friday nights.

  6. I think numbers 4 and 5 are especially important. I’ve found it really helpful to look forward to something, build excitement about it… and then, when the time finally comes, treat it as something SPECIAL. I will usually take time to myself – even if it’s just 10 or 15 minutes – to “get ready” for the date. Change my shirt (or entire outfit), touch up my makeup, that sort of stuff. It also helps me to just plain call it a date… we do so much together, but calling it a “date” makes it seem just a little more special. :)

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