The Year Everything Changed

I started 2011 in a hot tub with six bloggers. At midnight we all went around and cheers’d to the year ahead and proclaimed what we wanted for the year. I wanted 2011 to be about Boldness.

I wanted to live a vibrant life without fear.
I wanted to meet challenges head on.
I wanted to feel in love with my life, not because I’ve been lucky but because I’ve gone out and claimed what I want.

When the year began, I would have never described myself as ballsy. I liked my life, my job, my friends… but something felt hollow in it all. I felt really lucky to have the things I did, but feeling like I had everything because of lucky breaks left me feeling uneasy; I didn’t feel like I had ownership of my life.

A week after I wrote about a weekend I cried putting on a duvet cover by myself because I felt so overwhelmingly lonely, everything changed. I went to a friends house and something clicked with this guy I had known for a few months. I was scared but I wanted to live my life boldly right? Boldness didn’t mean being reckless with my heart, it meant taking the risk and opening my heart up. Being open to the big feelings; it doesn’t get much bolder than that.

Everything changed when Mr. A came into my life, and not just because I ahem got pregnant. What changed my life was how he and I responded to the pregnancy. We became a we. We decided to get married and we spent every ounce of our energy building the solid foundation we would need when our baby got here.. and it worked.

Boldness was accomplished. That is for sure.

Now, we’re beginning 2012 and I was struggling to pick a new word for the year. I have been given amazing things this past year, a husband and a son to start with. We are past the beginning stages of my life here in the bay area, of my marriage, and of my son’s life. I am now looking to take the things I have and grow them the best I can. Nourish them. Protect them. Making them a priority for my energy in 2012.

This year I want to take care of the things I have gained.

I will cultivate my marriage. In a lot of ways Mr. A and I are lucky with the way our relationship unfolded. We have always been 100% in. We never doubted each other for a second and we spent the months leading up to Miles guaranteeing we had the best possible foundation. I want to make sure Mr. A is feeling appreciated, loved, and adored as much as possible this year. I want date nights and affection. I want him to feel in his bones that he is loved; our marriage will thrive if I can do that.

I will cultivate my wee baby boy. He has a ton of growing to do this year. He’ll be walking and talking by the time 2013 rolls around. That’s crazy. I guess I want to make sure that I am having as much fun with him as possible. I don’t want to take the easy road when raising him. I want to take him to the park and get down on the floor to play with him. I want to soak in this year.

I will cultivate myself. I don’t want to get lost in all that I have to care for this year. I still have to take care of myself. This includes bath time, training for a half-marathon in May, time with friends, my writing, and anything else that feeds my soul. It’s just like those safety advisories on airplanes that tell you that in case of an emergency to put your oxygen mask on first. To take care of others I need to take care of me first.

What are YOU going to be striving for this year? Do you feel like you’re in a transitional phase of life or reaching an equilibrium?

26.

26.

Twenty-six.

I spent my 24th year figuring out who I was.  My 25th year seemed to be about enjoying who I am.  Apparently it was ALL because by the end of my 25th year, I would be married and pregnant.  Before I could be where I am, I had to go through all I did.  Before I could become another’s, I had to become my own. I feel closer to my family.  I feel understood and loved on in friendships.  I feel secure and blissful in my marriage.   This time next year I will have a 7 month old child.  Life. Is. Good.

On my 25th birthday my mantra was grace.  I wanted to be more full of grace in my relationships with people: more understanding, more forgiving.  I wanted to be reminded repeatedly that I am on the receiving end of unearned love and acceptance with an insane amount of regularity.  Last July I got “grace” tattooed on my wrist to remind me of all of this.  While I wasn’t nearly as good at this as I hoped, I know that having it in my mind made me better that I would have been.  A start towards grace has been made.

My 26th year is going to be all about Joy.

I want to find joy, be joy, seek joy.

26 is going to be an adventure, this I know.

And I can’t wait.

25.

24.

Let the Boldness Begin. @Stratejoy #Season4

Excited.
Honored.
Super pumped fantastic.
Doing dances of happiness and joy.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg in the sea of excitement about being able to ANNOUNCE that for the next six months I will be writing weekly over at Stratejoy!  (And then I became a real writer.)  I am joining five other kick ass women as we write about our journeys “conquering our Quarterlife Crisis through inspiration, clarity & authentic happiness.”

I know the competition was intense.  Six spots for over 50 applicants wanting to share their stories; stories that are real and inspiring.  I get to share mine, and I am so ready to make ya’ll proud. (I’ve taken to speaking with a drawl.  You can blame “Friday Night Lights” and country radio)

I am also going to OWN it, rock it, and boldly run head on into HUGE LIFE ALTERING JOY.  I cannot wait to begin.  I keep telling people that I am beyond excited to see where I will be in six months; because I honestly have no idea what my life will look like.  The first step is a revisit to the drawing board.  I see some lists, charts, and bubble-brainstorming in my near future.  YAY!

2011: Proceeding with Boldness.

Last year, it was about balance.  A self-instituted weekly grounding was my way of forcing myself to slow down and spend sometime learning to be ok alone. 

It was the best possible resolution for where I was last year.

This year is about Being Bold.

I want to live a vibrant life without fear.
I want to meet challenges head on.
I want to feel in love with my life, not because I’ve been lucky but because I’ve gone out and claimed what I want. 

  • I am going to make the first move.  Especially when I am feeling that old hesitant, meek, self-doubting CRAP start sneaking in. 
  • I am going to ask for what I want.  In relationships.  In my job.  I am going to start asking because what’s the worst that could happen?  I could get a no.  I should be more comfortable with the possibility of rejection.  Rejection doesn’t mean I suck, in fact rejection means I have tried for something.  I am going to start looking at rejections as gold stars of boldness.  I can learn how to take rejection, dust off, and seriously move on.
  • I am going to take more risks.  Be more spontaneous.  The best possible moments of 2010 were the unplanned ones.  It was spur of the moment trips.  It was changing plans because the wind shifted.  It was risking opening my home to 6 bloggers and spending a day under a fort sans-makeup.
  • I am going to figure myself out even more.  Isn’t that the root of boldness anyhow?  REALLY loving myself.  Really believing in myself.  Getting my validation and worth from myself.  I am going to BOLDLY LOVE myself.  Bold love, bold love, bold love. 

What do YOU want to get out of 2011?

Bri Reviews

Happy Tuesday!

I added a page next to the “About Me” page.  You know how books sometimes have other authors’ reviews on why you should read whatever book you’re holding?  It’s kind of like that.  My “About Me” page says a lot.. but there is more to know.  So I asked some people, and here’s what they said:

 

“Bri is a vivacious, intelligent, caring friendAn excellent writer.  Eternally optimistic.  Always has a shoulder to lean on.  Full of life, full of faith, and definitely full of grace.  She’s also one of my bloggy bffs and deserves huge raises, a hot & sexy husband and more kitttens.  She’s also constantly evolving, searching, learning, growing as a friend, as a woman, as an employee.”  –Nora

Bri is a stupid and lazy shortening for Brianna. To shorten anything about this refreshing woman would be a sin, but hey, we’ve all got problems. Please find attached one Brianna who can be fun without over bearing, cute but just as spicy, dorky but adorably so, wise but young at heart, and always and forever a good friend to all.  (Also it sounds like this was a eulogy. But thankfully she’s still alive.)”
-An Ex  (That’s right, she’s even friendly with Ex-Boyfriends)
 
For me, Bri is my friend in the bay area. “What kind of friend?” “Oh, I dunno.  The kind that’s the opposite of an enemy?”
Nico

Bri is so much fun and always makes me laugh, but I also feel like I could talk to her about anything.  She’s also the kind of person who makes things happen, which I find very inspiring.”
Ashley 

“She’s always been my favorite daughter”
-Bri’s Mom


“I like her better than my own children”
-Your mom

P.S. This is the last day to submit questions for my VLOG tomorrow.  If you read my blog, you should participate.  Leave a comment so I have something to film tonight :)

Today…

I have shin splints.  A common problem for people who go from, you know, never running to trying to run 2-3 miles 3-4 times a week.  The remedy is some time not running, which is super duper annoying.  For the first time ever I am ALL about the running, and now I have to not do it.  Lame.

I am reading “Meeting Your Half-Orange” So far it’s been really good.  All about being honest about what you want, and focusing on it- with optimism, of course.

I am allergic. Too all things here in the bay area.  It’s like walking around sick all the time.  I’m 10 types of congested and my eyes are all itchy and watery.  I went to LA a couple of weekends ago, and I felt AMAZING.  I am the only person in the history of the world to go to LA to breathe better.

I am listening to Wakey!Wakey!  I love them.  Here, listen and love them too.

I am looking forward to the weekend, summer, water, the smell of sunscreen, and sleeping outside.

What a difference a year makes…

Exactly one year ago, I logged in to my blogger and wrote this:

Ryan and I broke up last night.
My heart is broken.
I feel so lost and empty.
He’s coming to get his clothes in an hour.
I feel sick.

This is crazy to me. Nuts. It seems so very long ago. So much has happened, and stayed the same. I processed a lot this past year. I checked in at the six months, and felt pretty good, even if sometimes it didn’t feel like I was moving forward at all.

This year

This year I recovered so much of what I had lost.

Family,

friendships,
myself.

Not just recovered. Recovered and then I was transformed by what I found.

I am not the same girl I was a year ago.
I am changed;
and so are my relationships.
So is my faith in myself,
God,
the world.

Hemingway once wrote “The world breaks everyone, and afterward some are stronger in the broken places”.

I am so much stronger in the broken places.

And the scars are reminders that I have lived.

I believe…

  • I believe we should have our “once a week” latte Monday morning. Why not have something to look forward to Monday morning?

  • I believe in summer. The smell of sunscreen, the way my hair looks after an afternoon at the beach playing volleyball… a little bit untamed.

  • I believe in Love. I believe, specifically, that any bible verse that has the word God in it can have love substituted. I think Love never fails, Love is the way and the truth and the light. If we love each other, like REALLY love each other, then we’re doing it right.
  • I believe in service. Volunteering over the weekend was extremely eye opening and rewarding. Not only does it make me more grateful for what I have, but it empowers me because I know that I made a difference. I made her smile, I gave him clothes to wear to a job interview.
  • I believe in listening to your heart above all others.
  • I believe in karma (and that it’s only a bitch if you are)
  • I believe in fate… timing, luck, fate. All of those. The trinity of love maybe. You need all three, and then it just works right?

What do you believe in this fine Monday?