Laughing and laughing…

It’s Monday.

Some people don’t like Monday’s that much.  I am not one of those people most of the time because Monday’s are the day I get to buy a latte on my way in to work.  It is also the night after Once is on TV, which means it’s on Hulu right now.  That makes me happy.

But I digress.

For those of you who are not really Monday people I came across this last night and laughed so hard I just had to share.

Happy Monday.

Skeet Skeet guys. Skeet. Skeet.

Found on smartphOWNED.com

 

Leave it to Bieber.

Yesterday, Nora and I watched Glee together.  And while I SQUEED in excitement for the Justin Bieber numbers, all I got from Nora was a whole lot of “I don’t know this song” and  “I mean, it’s nice, I’ve just never heard any of his music.”

Apparently they don’t have radio, television, or a deep-resounding love for teen-pop music in Missouri.  #Noted #PlacesIWillNeverLive

(I kid. I love you Nora, you’re the best ever.  Missouri is great.  Or so I’ve heard.)

So, I thought I would give her a little education on the Biebs.
_______________________________________________________________

The Justin Bieber Primer

  • On one of my trips to LA to see my lovely Jimmie and Anthony, it became VERY apparent that Anthony had caught “The Fever”.  We didn’t go ANYWHERE or DO ANYTHING before first rewatching either Justin Bieber’s SNL performance or the Tina Fey skit.  Here, now you can do the same.  
  • The Biebs is a phenomenon.  A Canadian phenomenon bested ONLY by maple syrup.  

  •  Side note: Haterz gonna hate. It is totally and fully acceptable to blast this music with your windows down on a sunny day… or a rainy day.  I mean, Bieber would totally brighten up a rainy day.  You should probably always listen to him.

This weekend I am flying to LA to celebrate Anthony’s birthday the best way I could think of, by seeing Never Say Never or as we call is — Bieber3D.  There may be t-shirts involved.  My life will probably be changed forever.

Basically what I am telling you, Nora,  is that there is a lot of joy you are missing out by not being IN THE KNOW about Bieber.  I will be sending you his complete catalog of music next week.  Promise.

<3

Double Dream Hands.

I am going to LA to see my loves in 17 days (!!!!). 
Whenever I am planning a visit emails start flying between us with possible plans.  Here’s what the exchange has been:
Anthony: 
Hi Loves!
So I wanted to check in and see what we’d like to plan for your visit! Thoughts? Suggestions?
xoxo,
a
Me:
Well to start:
  1. I would like to make memories.
  2. I would like to drink mimosas
  3. I would like to dance party
  4. I would like to sit in the back seat with Allison and take gratuitous pictures
  5. I would like to see Justin Bieber 3D and have drinks to celebrate the birth of the amazing Anthony.
  6. I would like to go to Disneyland.
  7. I would like to go to the moon.
  8. I would like to go to pretty dinner spots and pretty places in general.
  9. I would like to NOT have my nose re-pierced on Hollywood Blvd.
  10. I would like to NOT cry into my Miley shake.

There are a ton of things and places to see still.  Anything with you guys though would make me really happy.  

Jimmie:

Okay, in all fairness this all seems pretty ambitious. I mean, some of these are pretty doable, particularly the NOTs, done and done. But, dancing? dinner? mimosas? These things are not as easy to find as one may think, and we all know the perils of day drinking. And making memories, that’s like saying you want to go to the moon and back in just one three day weekend. Get real Bri…

Get real.

I sure hope that between now and mid-february you are able to better evaluate your LA weekend plans… 

That’s all.

 _____________________________________________
Well, everything changed this past weekend when I happened upon the following video.  I am sure between the three of us, we’ve watched it about 100 times.  It gets funnier every single time.  The three of us have agreed that this is really all we want to do the weekend I am there.  Watch this.  Dance this.  

Jimmie called last night and we spend 10 minutes discussing which part is our favorite.  Mine is the last 20 seconds.   


 

How to spend a morning.

I spent a recent morning looking thought this etsy site with my bestie.  It was hilarious.  THEN we realized there were descriptions, and shit got real.  And by “real” I mean I laughed so hard my sides still ache.  Here are some of my favorites.  I would like an entire wall dedicated to them.

You might not expect the world’s foremost authority on dungeon mastering to excel in the field of freak dancing, but this is not your ordinary badger.
After cataract surgery ten years ago, this cheetah realized that an eyepatch can be a real conversation starter with the ladies. His eye has long since healed but his social calendar remains quite full.
Sometimes you just find a look that works and you stick with it. It works for this guy anyway and it’s quite practical to boot. The turtleneck really helps prevent chafing during his hula-hoop routine.
After years of compliments on his luscious locks, this lion decided to open his own salon and hair care line called “The Mane Event”. If that name makes you groan, consider his first two ideas: “The Lion Snips Tonight” or “The Lion, The Hair, and The Wardrobe”.
This foxy fellow is a bit of an eccentric gardener. He whistles “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” to his carrots and tap-dances to entertain the corn. His neighbors know that if he is doing cartwheels in the pumpkin patch, it’s going to be a bumper crop year.
More than just an idle beachcomber, this seagull is an avid photographer of coastal scenery. He prefers using a medium format camera and black and white film. Critics have praised his surrealist vision of seascape photography.

I die.  What’s been making you laugh lately?

Worst security question of all time…

On the phone with AT&T trying to get my username and password.

Woman:  To verify your account I am going to need you to answer one of your security questions you answered when the account was set up.

Bri:  Ok, not a problem.

Woman: Who is your favorite actor?

Bri:  Did I really answer that?

Woman: Yes, ma’am.

Bri:  Did I say Robert Pattinson, cause that would be embarrassing?

Woman:  No

Bri:  Well, is he good looking?

Women:  He’s not not a younger man, ma’am.

Bri:  Seriously?

Woman:  His first name begins with R?

Bri:  Really?  R?  Robert Redford? Ryan Reynolds?  Ralph Machio?

Woman:  No ma’am.

Bri:  Well crap.  I’m out.

Proof I am not doing a good job focusing….

The following email was sent about an hour ago to everyone in the company:

Everyone,

I’m missing a steel water bottle, I think the last time I saw it was on Friday on top of the staff fridge. It is steel-colored with black rubber around the middle. Please let me know if you’ve seen it around.

Thanks.

Manager P

I worked some photo shop magic and responded:

Hey Manager P,

I have heard that someone was stealing steel water bottles. I think I know who it is.