Miles at 15 Months

Sometime recently this baby turned in to this toddler.

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Having a toddler is a whole different thing, let me tell you.  

I gave birth to a tiny, fragile baby.  It changed me in a lot of ways– my priorities, what a perfect Saturday looks like… but when they’re babies they just kind of go along for the ride of whatever interpretation of parenting you choose.    Then they become a toddler and they stop being cool with being strapped to your being and going with your plans like a loaf.  Miles suddenly has opinions and feeling and OH MY GOD he is fearless and does not give to thoughts about how going down the BIG BOY slide that the three year old’s are afraid of might actually give his mama a heart attack.  He doesn’t have time to care.  He’s too busy experiencing everything.

This morning I was sitting, enjoying my coffee, planning on spending at least another 15 minutes at home before taking Miles to school and heading to work.  I took out some of Miles’ cars for him to play with; I mentally high-fived myself for being on top of things this morning.  Miles took one look at his car, shook his head no, and went and grabbed his sweater, handed it to me before sitting down waiting for it to be put on.  He was ready to go to school thank you very much.  Determined child.  Exhausting, overwhelming, amazing, determined child.

He is trying to talk more.  He says belly button — (but it sounds like bawwy-buh-uh).  Close enough kid.  He is on the brink of so many things… so many things that are going to break every notion I have about who he has been so far.


I’ve been quiet lately.  Having a baby has made my world much smaller, but I think I’m wrong in my feeling that it’s not of interest because it’s small.  More importantly I don’t want to miss recording life.  Two years ago, I started dating Mr. A, and I am so happy that I wrote through that and finding out I was pregnant.  They’re cherished bit of my story.


Miles at 15 months:

Favorite food: Beets and pizza

Stats: 25 pounds, taller than all the other kids

Love: Balls and cars and slides

Words: Mama, Dada, ball, nana (banana), Ba! (Bottle), belly button, dog, Abby, bye, bubble, tree, bird, uh-oh.

A first. #nablopomo

Dear Miles,

Ten things I wish for you on your first birthday:
  1. I hope that you continue to march to the beat of your own drummer.  Find the things that you LOVE and just be about those things unabashedly.  Find people to be in your tribe.  Forget about everyone else.
  2. I hope that you care about people.  Your Daddy has a huge heart and your Mama cries over injustice often, empathy is not a weakness.
  3. I hope you learn which rules to break.  Birthday cake can be a fine breakfast and sometimes ditching school to road-trip with your friends can be magical (Just make sure you tell your mom where you’re going and be safe!).
  4. I hope that our home is always a safe place.  I want you to feel comfortable being exactly who you are and when things get crazy I want you to always always always know you can find refuge at home.
  5. I hope that you’re a good friend.  Fiercely loyal and fun-loving.  I think that you are who your friends are, choose well.
  6. I hope you love learning and school and reading and science.  The world is so much bigger than you know.  There are journeys to go on.
  7. I hope you get in trouble just enough to learn your limits, but not enough to require Mommy and Daddy bailing you out of jail.
  8. I hope you stay fearless.  You it out as you go.
  9. I hope you never get to old for a little snuggle time.  I won’t tell anyone, but hopefully you won’t even care if I do.
  10. I hope you know how many people love you Buddy.  Even more than that, I hope you grow up with a deep sense of security because you have so many people in your corner.

You are the best and hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Thank you for making me Mama. I love you.