10 weeks.

I am struggling guys.  Last week I felt so great, I thought my nausea was on its way out…. it came back with vengeance on Saturday.  Being sick all the time is starting to wear on my sunny disposition.  I feel cranky and tired.  I don’t feel like savoring this time, I want a freaking fast forward button.

And when I’m cranky I don’t want to write, I want to burrow in a pillow and sleep until it passes.

Until then, here are some adorable pictures of Mr. A and me from this past weekend.  We went on a little romantic get-a-way up the coast.  It was perfect.  I love him.


Ice Cream Cone have sounded amazing.
Beautiful Beautiful Ocean
Walking in the headlands


Mr. A and the llamas

8 Weeks.

I’m 8 weeks pregnant.  Holler.

My pants stopped fitting suddenly this morning.  Apparently when you have a baby growing exponentially in your abdomen, one day your favorite pants fit and the next they do not.  Shoot.

Over the past two weeks, Mr. A and I have done an exceptionally spectacular job of getting on the pregnancy train (A side from the occasional panic attack).  I’ve figured out what foods make me gag (bananas) and what foods make me do happy dances (yogurt and caprese salad and birthday cake).  We’ve stopped making coffee-for-two in the morning, as I generally opt for a nice can of ginger ale while I blow dry my hair. We’ve made plans and lists and dreams.

We’re not resisting my exhaustion.  We spend evenings snuggled in bed watching whatever seems good (Three Men and a Baby, Archer, Arrested Development).  My typically full social calender will have to wait until the 2nd trimester for dinner dates and friend time to come back.  We go to bed super early.  Last week, most nights I fell asleep reading and Mr. A had to come remove the glasses from my face and make sure my feet were under a blanket. We’re rolling with it.

Sometimes, we have panicked moments but for the most part I feel incredibly calm.  I breath and snuggle the man I love and grow a baby; it seems so easy.  I want to remember this part.

When my belly gets too big to be comfortable.  When the baby comes, along with sleepless nights and hours spent preoccupied with every inch of this new face.  When baby grows to be a toddler of elbows and knees in my back as we all share a bed to fight off the monsters in the closet.  I want to remember the calm of right now.  The calm of feeling like my body and heart have been preparing for this all along.  The calm of loving someone and being loved back with such overwhelming certainty.  The calm of a life starting.  I want to remember this part.

The One Where I Get Engaged.

There’s been some radio silence over here, sorry.  Let’s just say that there is some HUGE things coming this way… and the first of which is this:

Engaged and so freaking happy.  Mr. A proposed last night because he got the ring and couldn’t wait a single day to ask me; which is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.  It was perfect.  At home, in our comfy clothes, unwinding from the day and talking.  He had asked me how he’s supposed to propose, and I told him that I didn’t want anything crazy.  My favorite movie proposal of all time is from Bride Wars (I know, awful movie).  Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend asks her on a regular night; as they’re sitting on the couch eating take-out and drinking beer.  Simple and perfect. I did not need a proposal a la Michael Scott.
He was fiddling with a drawer that he doesn’t use, so I started getting suspicious.  He pulled out the box and happened to be down on one knee.  He told me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  It was absolutely perfect. I said something like “Yes, yes, yes, yes.”  And then he kissed me.  And then I told him to stop kissing me so I could LOOK AT MY RING!  Then he kissed me some more.  You know, typical engaged stuff.
In the middle of the night he whispered “Hi Fiance” to me.  I like how that sounds.

today is a good day.

writing.  hot apple cider.  projects.  making lists of things I want to do with mr. a in every season. checking in with friends.  beautiful music.  discovering my ex is engaged and finding that i am fully ok with it.  being in love.  being loved back. 

today is a good day.

A Thankful Thursday (and @KimHumes wins some @Apothica love.)

““Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.””

Paulo Coelho

Life is GOOD. 
Peaceful.  Lovely.  Content.  

Monday, Mr. A came and met two of the most important people (to me) on the planet, my grandparents.  I think he might have been nervous, but you couldn’t tell.  He was amazing, he is amazing.  It’s interesting to introduce him to people that matter to me, because I sit back and feel so proud of him.  He’s so passionate and smart, easy going and funny.  Seriously.  I love him, more and more.

My grandpa was hilarious; something about having a boy around causes him to tell ridiculous stories.  I half-expected him to get up and tap-dance; Grandpa was definitely putting on his A-game.  Grams and I did what we normally do Monday nights, sit back and laugh and throw in jokes only her and I get.  It felt good. 


My Apothica give-away winner has been picked!

Kim from Gathers No Moss.  Please shoot me an email (link to the right) so I can send you your gift certificate!!


Finally, click on over to read my post for Stratejoy this week!  It’s about Mr. A!  And Love!  And unicorns!!!  (OK, maybe not unicorns)

What are you lovely people looking forward to this weekend?

Grace in Small Things, V. 13

I don’t even know where this week went.  It’s Friday?  And I’ve written…. technically nothing, because the super awesome give-away that went up on Tuesday has been waiting in drafts for weeks.  You should probably go enter.  Go ahead.  I will wait. 



I will have to tell y’all about Los Angeles next week, but it was amazing.   Amazing and exhausting and the most fun ever.  Here’s a little sampler on the night Chels came out with us. 

This basically sums up the night.

2 for 1.  I mean, come on. 

Mr. A picked me up from the airport and we got to spend about 3 seconds together before HE left for four days.  It is crazy how much I have missed him.  Equally crazy is how much I LOVE hearing his voice when he calls at night, instant smiles. 

Alright, that’s my short check-in, now on to Friday GiST:

1.  Mr. A comes home tonight!  Which (obviously) means I couldn’t sleep past 5 this morning…which means I got to work early… which means I get to leave early!!!  Best.  Friday.  Ever.

2.  I love getting to work and having Nora say she’s been waiting to tell me ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED SINCE WE LAST SPOKE 12 HOURS AGO.  (That’s panic caps, cause that’s what we feel when we’re not able to share every single thought we have immediately upon having it.)

3.  Having lunch every day this week with one of my dearest friends Jess.  It’s been incredibly lovely to break up the monotony of eating alone in my office with her.  We laugh a lot.

4. Sharing a bottle of wine with Molly and Jenny last night was perfect in every way.  We went to a cute little wine restaurant and sat side-by-side on a couch with a legs tucked under us.  Girl talk is always amazing.  Girl talk with incredible women who inspire you?  Even better. 

5.  Adele. I’ve had her album for a couple of weeks now (thanks internet fairies).  This album is insanely good.  It makes you feel things.  Love love love. 

What’s new with YOU?

Grace in Small Things

  • Today I am flying to LA to see my loves.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love these two…
  • Did I mention I am flying and NOT driving?  Talk about luxurious.  Sipping champagne on the airplane is totally happening.  
  • The power of the family Crab Fettuccine Alfredo.  I made Mr. A dinner last night, and it was so much fun dancing around in the kitchen with him and then watching his reaction as he learned that his girlfriend can totally cook.
  • Big things happening for friends.  Every GChat message or phone call from a friend sharing amazing, exciting, life-changing news has put me over the moon.  They deserve all the good that’s coming to them.  Celebrating with friends is the BEST.
  • Gourmet Dining.  From both ends of the spectrum, Saturday night I had a bowl of goldfish crackers and a glass of milk for dinner.  Monday I had Pizza with truffle mousse.  I mean COME ON.  TRUFFLE MOUSSE?!  I died.
  • Dancing Around with Mr. A.  He spins me to whatever song is on, and I swoon every single time.  

I Don’t Need a Parachute

 “You deserve to feel like a princess on Valentines Day.”


Weeks ago I planned a dinner with my girl friends, because OBVIOUSLY there was no valentine for me in the near future (Thanks universe I get it, I’m not in control).  I took one read of Chelsea’s Valentines Day Revolution and knew I was going to be spending the evening with the girls sipping bubbles and being otherwise exuberantly happy.

I could have never anticipated I would be THIS happy on Valentines Day.  Dinner with the girls was amazing.  I am so very grateful to these women who curl their hair to come drink champagne with me.  They’re the ones who have been on the other end of every panicked phone call this past year; I would be lost without them.   I was so happy to get to toast to all types of love with them.

Then there was the equally amazing  perfect-for-me man who picked me up from dinner.  He spoiled me, that’s for sure.  He doesn’t quite yet realize that simply being with him is enough to put a stupid-giddy grin on my face for days and days– everything else is crazy amazing icing on the cake. 

Thursday is my turn to spoil him a little.  I get to make him dinner for the first time, and while I joked I was going to start simple so that he wouldn’t know that I can actually cook (“Oh, I only know how to make this quesadilla!  Opps, I burned it.”)  (You know, keep the expectations low)… he ruined that, and now?  It’s on like Genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan.  All the stops are being pulled out.  Valentines Day is so.  not.  over.

I don’t tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don’t tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won’t tell anybody
Won’t tell anybody
They wanna push me down they wanna see you fall down
Won’t tell anybody that you turn the world around
I won’t tell anyone that your voice is my favorite sound
I won’t tell anybody
Won’t tell anybody
They wanna see us fall they wanna see us fall down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute.
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
Don’t believe the things you tell yourself so late at night
You are your own worst enemy, you’ll never win the fight
Just hold on to me, I’ll hold on to you
it’s you and me up against the world it’s you and me
I don’t believe anything, don’t trust anyone anymore
But I believe you when you say we’re never gonna fall
Hand behind my neck, arm around my waist
Never let me hit the ground, you’ll never let me crash down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of,
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I fall into you
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of,
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I fall into you
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall

Happy Love Day.

I’ve mentioned that Mr. A makes me CDs. (Which reminds me there is a new one sitting on his desk that I definitely forgot last night) (Which is probably ok because I made myself a “Silly Love Song” playlist on my iPod that I will be rocking hardcore until further notice.)  (Don’t judge me.)   (Eff it, go ahead and judge.  I totally don’t care) (Hi, parentheses.)  

Where was I?  Love.  Right.  So, as I am prepping for my huge lovely Valentines Dinner with the girls tonight while desk dancing to love songs… I am sending a little music your way. 

This CD is songs he thinks I’d like, and he’s totally right.  He has my tastes down to a science apparently. He’s trouble guys. 

1.  Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

2.   Lykke Li – Dance Dance Dance

3.  Matt Costa – Sunshine

4.  The Magnetic Fields – Why I Cry

5.  Hot Chip – The Warning

6.  Miike Snow – Silvia

7.  Tokyo Police Club – Favourite Food

8.  Joel Plaskett – Absentminded Melody

9.  Diamond Rings – Something Else

10.  m. ward – I’ll be Yr Bird

11.  The Beatles – Golden Slumbers

12.  Elliott Smith – Everything Reminds Me of Her

13.   Vampire Weekend – Campus

14.  Elvis Perkins – While You Were Sleeping

15.  Her Space Holiday – Tech Romance

Grace in Small Things: Not-So-Single Edition

I giggled writing that title.  For reals.

Not-so-single, with some SUPER AMAZING benefits. 

  1.  Let me be really clear:  All that romantic, mushy, movie-magic stuff that you’re afraid to believe in?  That shit is real.  Believe it.  Expect it.  Hold out for it. This isn’t just grace in small things, this is grace in HUGE things.  Huge things that you should demand for yourself too.  It’s out there, that’s what I learned this week.  Seriously. 
  2. Letting someone in past your walls can be super intimidating.  Every single thing Mr. A finds out, appears to make him like me more?  Even the dorky stuff and the messy stuff.  It’s freeing.  I feel like I’m falling for someone while simultaneously becoming more free to be exactly who I am.  That doesn’t even make sense but it’s true. 
  3. When you have a bad day?  Sometimes you get to have this super cute guy go to the grocery store for you to pick up things for dinner.  Then he lets you sit and drink wine while he cooks. (Then he makes fun of you for taking a ninja-spy photo and sending it to the internet in about 3 seconds.  He’s getting used to dating a blogger.  Ha.)

Where are you finding grace this week?  Go.