Mr. A and I have very different tastes in music for the most part.  He likes BIG BASS, things with weird production value, and things without words. I, on the other hand, like major chords, emotional lyrics, and the more harmony the better.  I guess it’s good that, even with differing tastes, Mr. A and I can agree that music is incredibly important and powerful.  If anything we know Baby M will be grow up being exposed to a wide array of music.

I think the Civil Wars make absolutely beautiful music, but I love them even more because watching them live gives me chills.  The harmony is beautiful but the best part for me is watching them watch each other.  They breathe together and it’s so beyond beautiful.


Leave it to Bieber.

Yesterday, Nora and I watched Glee together.  And while I SQUEED in excitement for the Justin Bieber numbers, all I got from Nora was a whole lot of “I don’t know this song” and  “I mean, it’s nice, I’ve just never heard any of his music.”

Apparently they don’t have radio, television, or a deep-resounding love for teen-pop music in Missouri.  #Noted #PlacesIWillNeverLive

(I kid. I love you Nora, you’re the best ever.  Missouri is great.  Or so I’ve heard.)

So, I thought I would give her a little education on the Biebs.

The Justin Bieber Primer

  • On one of my trips to LA to see my lovely Jimmie and Anthony, it became VERY apparent that Anthony had caught “The Fever”.  We didn’t go ANYWHERE or DO ANYTHING before first rewatching either Justin Bieber’s SNL performance or the Tina Fey skit.  Here, now you can do the same.  
  • The Biebs is a phenomenon.  A Canadian phenomenon bested ONLY by maple syrup.  

  •  Side note: Haterz gonna hate. It is totally and fully acceptable to blast this music with your windows down on a sunny day… or a rainy day.  I mean, Bieber would totally brighten up a rainy day.  You should probably always listen to him.

This weekend I am flying to LA to celebrate Anthony’s birthday the best way I could think of, by seeing Never Say Never or as we call is — Bieber3D.  There may be t-shirts involved.  My life will probably be changed forever.

Basically what I am telling you, Nora,  is that there is a lot of joy you are missing out by not being IN THE KNOW about Bieber.  I will be sending you his complete catalog of music next week.  Promise.


I Don’t Need a Parachute

 “You deserve to feel like a princess on Valentines Day.”


Weeks ago I planned a dinner with my girl friends, because OBVIOUSLY there was no valentine for me in the near future (Thanks universe I get it, I’m not in control).  I took one read of Chelsea’s Valentines Day Revolution and knew I was going to be spending the evening with the girls sipping bubbles and being otherwise exuberantly happy.

I could have never anticipated I would be THIS happy on Valentines Day.  Dinner with the girls was amazing.  I am so very grateful to these women who curl their hair to come drink champagne with me.  They’re the ones who have been on the other end of every panicked phone call this past year; I would be lost without them.   I was so happy to get to toast to all types of love with them.

Then there was the equally amazing  perfect-for-me man who picked me up from dinner.  He spoiled me, that’s for sure.  He doesn’t quite yet realize that simply being with him is enough to put a stupid-giddy grin on my face for days and days– everything else is crazy amazing icing on the cake. 

Thursday is my turn to spoil him a little.  I get to make him dinner for the first time, and while I joked I was going to start simple so that he wouldn’t know that I can actually cook (“Oh, I only know how to make this quesadilla!  Opps, I burned it.”)  (You know, keep the expectations low)… he ruined that, and now?  It’s on like Genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan.  All the stops are being pulled out.  Valentines Day is so.  not.  over.

I don’t tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don’t tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won’t tell anybody
Won’t tell anybody
They wanna push me down they wanna see you fall down
Won’t tell anybody that you turn the world around
I won’t tell anyone that your voice is my favorite sound
I won’t tell anybody
Won’t tell anybody
They wanna see us fall they wanna see us fall down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute.
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
Don’t believe the things you tell yourself so late at night
You are your own worst enemy, you’ll never win the fight
Just hold on to me, I’ll hold on to you
it’s you and me up against the world it’s you and me
I don’t believe anything, don’t trust anyone anymore
But I believe you when you say we’re never gonna fall
Hand behind my neck, arm around my waist
Never let me hit the ground, you’ll never let me crash down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of,
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I fall into you
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of,
I won’t fall out of love, I won’t fall out of, I won’t fall out of love, I fall into you
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall
Down down down
I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, you’re gonna catch if I fall

Happy Love Day.

I’ve mentioned that Mr. A makes me CDs. (Which reminds me there is a new one sitting on his desk that I definitely forgot last night) (Which is probably ok because I made myself a “Silly Love Song” playlist on my iPod that I will be rocking hardcore until further notice.)  (Don’t judge me.)   (Eff it, go ahead and judge.  I totally don’t care) (Hi, parentheses.)  

Where was I?  Love.  Right.  So, as I am prepping for my huge lovely Valentines Dinner with the girls tonight while desk dancing to love songs… I am sending a little music your way. 

This CD is songs he thinks I’d like, and he’s totally right.  He has my tastes down to a science apparently. He’s trouble guys. 

1.  Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

2.   Lykke Li – Dance Dance Dance

3.  Matt Costa – Sunshine

4.  The Magnetic Fields – Why I Cry

5.  Hot Chip – The Warning

6.  Miike Snow – Silvia

7.  Tokyo Police Club – Favourite Food

8.  Joel Plaskett – Absentminded Melody

9.  Diamond Rings – Something Else

10.  m. ward – I’ll be Yr Bird

11.  The Beatles – Golden Slumbers

12.  Elliott Smith – Everything Reminds Me of Her

13.   Vampire Weekend – Campus

14.  Elvis Perkins – While You Were Sleeping

15.  Her Space Holiday – Tech Romance

Ten on Tuesday: The Holiday Edition

1. What is your favorite breakfast pastry?
I make Dutch Apple Babies on Christmas morning.  LOVE.  Warm apples and cinnamon gooey love?  Recipe here.  Try not to lick the picture. 

2. Were you ever in a Thanksgiving or Christmas play?
No!  But if I could be ANYTHING IN THE WORLD I would be Sally in “A Charlie Brown Christmas”.  Sally is the younger sister of Charlie, and we’re kind of soul mates.  Then add to that fact this video of Kristen Chenoweth as Sally Brown singing “My New Philosophy” and I die.

3. What is your favorite clothing accessory?
The slouchy hat.

4. What is your favorite item of clothing?
This cardigan from Anthropologie.  I love it to pieces.

5. What is your favorite color and why?
Teal.   I googled what that means about me and found this:

It is often said that people with the favorite color teal are compassionate, faithful, protective, and serene. Some words that go with the color are; healing, love, generosity, intuition, creativity, communication, self reliance, meditation, spiritual

6. What is your favorite type of Christmas cookie?
Snickerdoodles.  I have a thing for cinnamon.

7. What is your favorite scent (food, perfume/lotion)?
My perfume is Viktor & Rolf Eau Mega. Picking it was long process, I was looking for a specific scent to be “My Smell”.  It’s flowery without being overflowery.  Adult but not “smells like a grandma”  (Not that my grandma smells anything but lovely)  Now, imagine trying to describe this to a salegirl.  Lots of blank stares in my direction.

8. What is your favorite household cleaner?
Simple Green!  Super effective and my cats won’t die if they lick it.  Which they might.  I don’t know what cats do when I’m not home.  I imagine it’s a party followed by a nap.

Simple Green 13022 All Purpose Cleaner. 22 oz.

9. When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up? And what did you actually grow up to be?
I wanted to be a teacher.  And then I rebelled in high school and told everyone to shove it with there “You should be a teacher” bologna.  Then I went to grad school.  Then I dropped out of my PhD program with a masters in Demographics.. which means I’m a big ol’ data dork in real life.
10. What is the last song or album you bought?
I bought the Glee Chistmas Album last night.  Which means I’ve been listening to Christmas music.  Opps.

But I mean COME ON!  Chris Colfer & Darren Criss singing “Baby It’s Cold Outside”.  How can i resist that amazingness?  Try.  I dare you.

So now that I am not fighting it anymore, what’s your favorite Holiday/Christmas song?

Lying in the back of the blue boat, humming a tune…

Something about the weather makes me want to curl up and get lost in music.  I start carrying around my iPhone playing music at all times– skipping through songs until I find exactly what fits into whatever mood I’m in.

Lately, I’m all about the Weepies. 

The Weepies come on when I wake up, they sing me into consciousness.

Gray, quiet and tired and mean, Picking at a worried seam, I try to make you mad at me over the phone.
The songs float into the shower with me, keep me company as I recount last night’s dream… where is the line between dream and nightmare?  I just know I feel– unsettled.  There is definitely something unsettling about dreaming of his body next to mine, again.  Missing someone still who doesn’t even think about me, that’s no fun at all. Dislike.  Water pours over me.
Red eyes and fire and signs, I’m taken by a nursery rhyme
I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home
I wrap myself in an oversized towel.  Carry my phone with me to pour myself coffee.  Pet the cats.  Feel grateful that they are unconditional lovers of me; even if I’m hardly ever home.
No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I’ve gotta have you, I’ve gotta have you.

The Weepies hang out with me while I get ready for my day.  My hair an unruly rats nest and my face with amazingly adorable blemishes that always appear when I’ve been anxious– cause that’s all I need really to go with the anxiety, sigh…  stupid rogue face with your stupid signs of my internal state.  As if the nail stubs that were once my nails weren’t sending the necessary message without your help.
The road gets cold, there’s no spring in the middle this year
I’m the new chicken clucking open hearts and ears
Oh, such a prima donna, sorry for myself
I commute now.  Sipping my coffee.  Singing along.  Feeling mostly grateful for the new time to myself in the morning.  Thirty whole minutes with my thoughts.  I don’t spend that much time checking-in with myself.  It can be a blackhole of anxiety lately.  Better to just nod to my internal self and keep walking by.  I’ll talk to her when I have time to really listen.  Today I turn up the music to drown out the thoughts.  Today I have more pressing things to attend to: a friend with a broken heart who is too far away to hug, a conference to prep for, and I’m hungry.  
But green, it is also summer
And I won’t be warm till I’m lying in your arms
Grooveshark is the first thing that gets turned on as I settle in to my chair in my office.  My music feels like it circles around me in a bubble of perfect warmth.  I check-in with friends.  Sip more coffee.  Contentment replaces my anxiety and I begin to work.
I see it all through a telescope: guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat
Lying in the back of the blue boat, humming a tune… 

Grace in Small Things, Week III

  • Any song with violin.  Ever.  It melts me.  Bands like The Decemberists or Wakey!Wakey for example.
  • Dinner dates with cute boys… in my apartment and deciding that we should be just friends.  (And being totally ok with that)
  • Going to Tahoe for a retreat this weekend and how it means ONE more weekend of summer.

  • Nora felt loved on for her birthday 
  • Dinner with the grandparents and getting to take silly pictures with my grandpa.  I love him.
  • Snarky Twitter DM conversations with Ashley.  (What?!  Snark is fun)
  • Conversations with Nico ranging in topic from an hour long boob joke series, to God, to hearts.  It makes me days go by so much faster.
  • Oh, and the It Get’s Better Campaign.  It’s been making me cry for the past couple of days, but it’s encouraging too.  

Where were you finding your happy this week?


I have shin splints.  A common problem for people who go from, you know, never running to trying to run 2-3 miles 3-4 times a week.  The remedy is some time not running, which is super duper annoying.  For the first time ever I am ALL about the running, and now I have to not do it.  Lame.

I am reading “Meeting Your Half-Orange” So far it’s been really good.  All about being honest about what you want, and focusing on it- with optimism, of course.

I am allergic. Too all things here in the bay area.  It’s like walking around sick all the time.  I’m 10 types of congested and my eyes are all itchy and watery.  I went to LA a couple of weekends ago, and I felt AMAZING.  I am the only person in the history of the world to go to LA to breathe better.

I am listening to Wakey!Wakey!  I love them.  Here, listen and love them too.

I am looking forward to the weekend, summer, water, the smell of sunscreen, and sleeping outside.

Happy Monday!

Things to say, too busy to say them.

But hey!  Remember that time I was on Tyler Hilton’s website?

Pretty sure that goes in the win column.