What I Want on My Wedding Day.

My friends asked me last night what I wanted the most out of my wedding day.

I told them that I think a lot of people get carried away planning their wedding and forget to plan for their marriage.  Mr. A and I, on the other hand, are the opposite.  With all that we’ve been processing with the whole falling-in-love-opps-we-are-having-a-baby thing we have been intensely focused on preparing ourselves for our marriage.  We have determined where we think we’re going to have conflict, we’ve talked about how we’re going to deal with conflict, we’ve tackled finances, we’ve debated household tasks, and listed what we both need to feel loved and valued.  We are trying to set ourselves up to succeed in our marriage.  Maybe because we know that we cannot possibly know the extent of what we’re getting into marrying each other, I feel like we’ve intensely focused on figuring out whatever we can. We’ve been trying to build a foundation that can withstand the storms that are sure to come.

Tomorrow I want to forget all about that stuff.

I want tomorrow to be magical.  I want to be so excited tonight that I can hardly sleep.  I want to get butterflies tomorrow morning while Erin and I get ready.  I want to feel beautiful.  I want to fall even more in love with Mr. A when I see his face light up the first time he sees me in my wedding dress.  I want to hold back tears (or not) while I look into Mr. A’s eyes and say my vows.  I want to take pictures with him after our wedding being only semi-aware that anyone else is even there because I’ll be to busy staring at his face and pinching myself for being lucky enough to get him for keeps.  I want to sit with my new husband, my bestie, and her husband and toast to love; the kind of love that does not happen often but happened to us.  I want to snuggle up to him as we fall asleep tomorrow night and hear him whisper “I love you wifey”.

I cannot wait for tomorrow.

A little wedding sneak peak…

In two days, I am getting married.  (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

When we first started making wedding plans, it became very clear that I did NOT want a big ol’ wedding, at all. I didn’t want to plan it.  I didn’t want to spend a bagillion dollars feeding people chicken… I just wanted to be married.  I wanted it to be magical, beautiful, and memorable but I did NOT want the stress of planning.  As soon as I came across the idea of getting married elopement style in San Francisco it just felt right.  It felt just as right to Mr. A, so we ran with it.

Bonus, I think San Francisco city hall is insanely beautiful.

We’re still planning on having celebrations with ALL our friends and family, but we’ll wait until the summer and sunshine to get here.
Our families are super supportive and on board.  My Grams and I have spent every Monday night shopping for the wedding ensemble.  Here is the dress I’m wearing.  I love love love it.  (Mr. A has SEEN it, just not on.)  (And it looks super adorable with my burgeoning baby bump.)
My best friend and her husband are flying in to be our witnesses.  Erin and I are going to spend the morning getting beautiful, and they’re bringing their fancy camera so after the ceremony we can run around the city taking pictures.  Friday night the four of us will go to Spruce for dinner.  Spruce may be the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to, with their menu items sounding like something straight from a Top Chef episode.
I am excited to have Erin and her husband coming.  Erin is like my sister, we’ve been besties for 15 years.  The way I see it, the four of us are going to spend our entire lives being friends through everything.  I couldn’t pick better people to stand with us when Mr. A and I start our marriage.
Simple.  Full of love.  I get to marry Mr. A.  Perfect.
Cannot wait.

And then, my best friend got married.

Here’s the speech I gave.

Hi everyone, my name is Brianna, and I am lucky enough to call Erin my BFFAE, or Best Friend Forever And Ever.  We’ve been best friends since the first day of 7th grade and I, honestly, could never fully tell you all how much better my life is because of Erin, but, I suppose when your best friend get’s married people expect you to try.  So, here it goes, please excuse any resulting tears.

It has been said that home is a place where we are fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted.  We are born into a family, our first home, but then we spend the majority of our lives looking for and redefining Home.  When we make friends and look for a partner, part of us is looking for a home.  We are looking for that place where we are fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted.

My friendship with Erin has been my most constant home.   Together we navigated through our awkward teens and our rebellions.  We went off to college, we’ve fallen in love, we’ve had our hearts broken, and we’ve succeeded in ways we never even dreamed of– and through every success and failure we’ve returned home.  I am the best version of myself because of my friendship with Erin.  I am more confident, more bold, more secure because I have this constant friend who sees me; and fully loves and accepts me.  I love that this wedding is here at this house.  I was lucky enough to grow up here too.  This is where I have had some of my happiest memories and it’s where I have run when everything else seemed to be crashing down.

As you can imagine, I am very protective of my best friend.  I have always harbored some serious doubts that anyone she loves would ever be fully deserving of her; but then she met Chris.

I knew after less than 3 month that he was The One.  When Erin and Chris started dating, Erin got super sick.  She was in the hospital and because I couldn’t be there, Chris sent me daily updates on her status.  Not just what the doctor said, but how Erin was dealing with everything. Early on two things became very apparent:  1. that Chris adored Erin.  And 2, that Chris understood how important Erin is to me.

Now, let me tell you what the greatest thing in the world is.  Watching your best friend be in love.  Watching Erin change within her relationship with Chris has been awe inspiring.  There is a quote about how real freedom comes from a committed and secure love.  You have have the confidence to reach higher than you ever imagined, because you 100% trust that you have found your soul mate and he is waiting for you if you fall.  My best friend, who has always been the best person I know, has become even better with Chris.  She’s blossomed and grown into this amazingly confident, smart, and beautiful woman.  What has become clear is that Erin has found her home in Chris.  She is fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted.  And I couldn’t be happier for her.

Ten years ago, when Erin and I were 14ish we really liked the Disney Channel.  Specifically we really liked the show “Boy Meet’s World”.  Anyways, the main character, Corey,  finally marries his life-long love, Topanga.  Corey’s best friend Shawn interrupts the reception to explain why he and Corey have been non-stop fighting about the wedding.  Needless to say, Erin and I both cried the first time we saw it and vowed that whichever of us who got married first would get the “Boy Meet’s World Toast” at their wedding.  We’ve had in transcribed for years.  And because I keep my promises, even ones made in high school, here is the toast that touched Erin and I that fateful night over ten years ago (with the appropriate name changes):
 Erin and I have been best friends all our lives. And, um, this wedding’s been kinda hard for me because I know, no matter how much we may avoid talking about it, Erin and I aren’t gonna be best friends forever. Things are changing between us. Things have always been changing. We’ve had to deal with life… and death. And Feeney. But no matter what we faced, we always faced it together. So then how can we possibly be upset with each other on her wedding day? Well, it’s because deep down, I think Erin and I both know that we’re not gonna be best friends anymore. (Long pause) And that’s the way it should be. So this is to Chris.  Erin’s husband… and new best friend.  Take care of her okay?

I have a confession…

I am LOVING Vlogging more than I ever thought I would.  For reals yo.  The best part is the twitter explosions that happen in the evening.  So, sorry I have not posted anything substantial this week so far!  But here are some videos:
There’s a pretty fabulous community involved.
So, let’s talk Vegas.  It was insane.
Friday Night we went to a club called XS at Wynn.  The highlight was that, because we had bottle service, we also had a bouncer.  When boys would stop by the table– he would move them along.  It felt pretty Hollywood actually.  Speaking of Hollywood:  We met Paris Hilton.  There will be a picture soon– it was taken not with my camera so we’re waiting on it. 
Saturday we went to the Bare pool.  21 and over.  Tops optional.  There are obviously no pictures from said event.
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the weekend.  The best part was being able to celebrate with Erin.  Best Friends don’t get married every day. 
It was incredible.

Wedding Month!

My best friend.  You know, this one.  She’s getting, with this ring, two weeks from Saturday!

I am so excited.

It’s been an onslaught of shopping and prepping for this month, and I’m not even the one GETTING married (Note to Future Husband: We’re eloping.  Love you).

This coming weekend we’re going to Vegas and we’re doing it right.  There will be excess, indulgence, and egregious amounts of alcohol, good food, and high heels.  We are staying in a penthouse suite at the Mirage… that’s insane.

This past weekend, my Grams took me into the city to look for the one dress I don’t have yet: rehearsal dinner.  And, I am IN love with it.

Isn’t it amazing?!
I’ve also been coordinating with my lovely date for the wedding about all the fun things we’re going to be doing.  Internetz meet my date.  His name is Lane.  He’s basically amazing.
Not just because he comes with a large selection of suits and other fancy pants, but he is going to let me drag him around the whole of San Diego the day after the wedding– and he fully knows it’s going to be vlogged about. 
Speaking of vlogging, I am doing VEDA this month.  VEDA is “Vlogging Every Day in August”, and it’s been so much fun.  You can check everyday on my youtube page (it’s up there on the right) or you can wait for me to post the weeks previous Vlogs every week…  or you could just not watch them.. but I don’t really understand why you’d chose that.  Just saying.  Here are the first four days of VEDA.

Ode to a Perfect Weekend.

Firstly, a three day weekend never hurts.

Thursday I caught a flight down to San Diego. I never ever want to fly anything besides Virgin America!
Free television, music, movies, and games? Yay! Flight attendants who are really really nice and actually appear to enjoy their jobs? Yay! Ability to touchscreen food and beverages? Yay! But, here’s the best part, they were the CHEAPEST tickets!! I paid less than $100, round trip. Knowing there will be plenty of flying needed in the next year for wedding purposes… I am so very thankful that there is this option.

Ok, so. I was crying the week before visiting just because I desperately missed my best friend. Desperately. This is the farthest we have ever lived from one another, and I am not a fan of it. Erin and I met the first day of 7th grade. And I am not lying when I tell you that I wouldn’t be me without her. I could tell you more, but that might ruin my wedding speech… so just know that I am so extremely blessed to have her as my bestie. The kind of friendship that is so very effortless and priceless.

Thursday when I got in, we went home and relaxed over the latest episode of The Office. LOVED IT!! Obviously. Pam and Jim’s wedding = Perfection. We laughed. We cried. It was everything a sitcom should be :). (P.S. Watching it right now, also gave me chills and made me tear up)

Obviously, because Erin is my best friend, I was awakened Friday morning to this BLASTING from the living room…. I mean, how could a day that begins with hysterical laughter not be perfection?? (Bonus Fact: This is kind of one of Erin and my songs. When we were in Europe in 2000 the Bon Jovi song was on CONSTANTLY. We couldn’t get away from it, and we didn’t want to because we really really loved it)

Friday morning we went to a bridal salon to try on expensive dresses… which was probably a mistake because we definitely found THE dress there. Erin cried when she had it on. I cried when she walked out. It has to be it. So we’re now combing through used wedding dress sites to get this dress. Saturday we went to David’s Bridal and found a budget replacement for the dress we fell in love… but it just isn’t the same. It’ll do, but that’s not what we’re going for.

Friday night, I got to hang out with Erin and her fiance Chris. I don’t know if I have told you about him. When you have a best friend like I do, you assume that no one she ever loves will be good enough for her. Chris is. He’s so great, I honestly could not have picked a better man for my bestie to marry. Absolutely love him to a million pieces. (Even though when you ask for a “scoop” of ice cream he gives you a “scoop” with a teaspoon… which is really hilarious because he was genuinely trying to give us a “scoop” he just picked WAY to small of a scooper) (Oh, he also FLUNG a gargantuan ball of ice cream across the room when trying to rectify the small scoop blunder, I haven’t cried while laughing in SO long, thanks Chris).

Saturday was all about David’s Bridal and hanging out with Ms. Audrey. For all intents and purposes, even though there isn’t a “maid of honor” Audrey and I are jointly running the team and I couldn’t have a better co-pilot for bridal showering and bachelorette party planning. Not only is she drop dead gorgeous, but she’s wicked smart and so very wonderful. We’re both doing the single thing at the moment, but talked about how we have NO IDEA what our situations will be like come Erin’s wedding. We could have amazing dates. But the thing is, now, I am not sure I am going to think anyone Audrey dates is going to be good enough for her! She is just so above the league of 99% of men out there. I cannot wait for her to meet someone who is worth it… because he’s going to be rad. (I love you Audrey!!)

P.S. Here’s Audrey demonstrating how to do a proper squat. (Knees do NOT pass your toes. Back straight, shoulder’s up.)
Okay, well, I am only up to Saturday. So the rest of the weekend will have to come tomorrow. Hope everyone’s weekend was GLORIOUS!

Oh, P.S. A note for Gramsy and for any other book readers. Grams recommended this book a really long time ago, and I never got around to reading it. Well, you were right Grams. It is one of the best books I have read in a really long time!!! “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”.


Such a great weekend. Seriously. I really don’t think I could have had a better one.

Saturday morning, I picked up my friend Terra and we went to a Food Festival in San Francisco. It was horrendously horrible. Super crowded. You waited 45 minutes in line to get food, and then they would run out before you got up to the front. I was STARVING and a FOOD FESTIVAL, not good. But it was still a great day, because we did not let that ruin our day. I had a friend who had seen my fb status that I was going to the food festival, so after we left, we walked the streets of the Mission taking picture, we grabbed lunch. ate it in the park, and then we met up with Tommy and a bunch of his friends in Dolores Park.

I have a billion pictures that I will post tomorrow, but here are some via google of what Dolores Park looks like. It was such a nice day, and the lawns were covered with people.
That is actually very close to wear we were sitting. We even walked to the liquor store for champagne and 10 of us sat around and just laughed and laughed.
After we came back from the city, I dropped Terra off and headed straight over to my dear Olivia’s to hang out. We drank wine, ate cheesecake, and had a movie marathon.

I am seriously so grateful to live so close to Olivia. She is amazing. And we spent Sunday morning in our pajamas, eating sourdough toast, drinking coffee, and watching Sense and Sensibility while repeatedly proclaiming our LOVE for Jane Austen.


And now for some very exciting news that I have been NOT able to tell you!

My BFF is getting MARRIED.

Erin text messaged me Monday after arriving back from her European vacation saying “Check your email, and call me”.

The email subject was “Look what I brought back from Europe” followed by this picture.

Yes, my BFF could be a hand model.
Right after the proposal, Erin all teary.
I have basically cried every time I talk to her about it. I am so excited for her, so happy for her. I didn’t even know it was possible to be SO happy for another human being. She is my bestest friend in the whole world, and deserves the greatest love and marriage imaginable– and she found it. I never really liked any boy Erin dated, always thinking she was so totally in a higher league than they were. I am very protective of her; she is, after all the reason I am me. But, all of that changed when she started dating Chris. I love him. He is such a great man, she really could not have found someone who is more of her match. I love that he has a great family, and Erin (who is an only child) gets to be part of his family. He has two younger siblings and great parents– and Erin gets to be a sister. She has always been mine, and now she gets more.

Erin told me I couldn’t say ANYTHING for 24 hours. And I, of course, didn’t. There was no way I was going to ruin her moment of telling everyone. I am proud to say I didn’t post anything about it for a whole week. That’s the DEFINITION of restaint. :)

I cried hearing about the beautiful proposal, and I cried when I called her mom to gush about how “our girl was getting married”, and her mom told me about Chris asking for their blessing. Love. I love it. Here are some pictures from the propsal. He proposed in Bruges Belgium, on a little bridge. He designed the ring himself, and completely surprised Erin.

Erin is starting her third and final year of law school today. I can’t even believe it. I am so proud of her. And can’t wait to start the wedding planning with her. It’s going to be SO much fun. And I will cry the WHOLE wedding I am sure.

I talked to Erin friday, and she said she was cleaning her ring. I laughed that she was ALREADY cleaning her ring, but then I saw this picture and laughed. Maybe she wouldn’t have to clean it so much if she stopped dropping into glasses of champagne. :)

I have also told Erin of my plan to get a blinged out chain with the initals BFOTB (Best Friend of the Bride) on it. I will wear it everywhere and use it as my excuse for everything. If I get pulled over for speeding, for example, I will simply chuckle and point to the bling. Obviously I was speeding because I am the BFOTB. And being the BFOTB means that I get off with a mere warning. Right?

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